Today, I went on an adventure.
Today, I went to the park.
Today, I went inside a huge outhouse and had a conversation.
Today, everything began to make sense, and for one little moment, I didn't really care that my hair was all over the place and that my face is fat.
But then I got cold and my arms went numb, and my dress was blowing up in the back, and I realized I'm just a foolish little child and I don't know what I'm doing here.
And now I'm sick, and I think I might be getting pnemonia, and my eyes feel like they're burning their own little holes in my head.
I don't like this, I don't like this one little bit.
I am currently sitting in my airy little kitchen, watching big black clouds meander across the huge expanse of pale blue sky.
The sun is lighting up the tops, turning them a pale navy in places, and gold in others.
The top of the mountain is coated in snow like a sprinkling of powdered sugar.
Sometimes, I love being home, in my big old flannel nightgown with a cat on the front, and my hair curled up on top of my head.

I feel like someone is shoving a needle through my brain, directly about my left eyebrow.
Why is this, I wonder? I don't think it has anything to do with my cold/flu/pnemonia deal currently going on.
I truly don't believe I am making any sense.
Watching my yard is completely fascinating.
It is currently a pale yellow, bleached from the snow.
The light brown leaves from the oak tree just outside the bay windows are laying scattered randomly around the lawn.
Every now and them, a breeze with meander through the archway next to my garage, and will sweep these still damp leaves up into the air, twisting them around, bringing them together and then ripping them apart.
This lazy early spring weather is making me tired.

Ridiculous. Ridiculous, true, but I love my life. I love waking up to a wet sidewalk, I love swimming with my cousins, I love having a baby fall asleep on my chest. I love dressing like I'm fit and in shape. I love watching movies and eating burritoes and not worrying. I love getting unexpected phone calls from old friends. I love new plans. I occasionally like being turned down. Perhaps I'm losing my mind.

This day, this particular day in history, will be remembered for all the right reasons. For the sunlight, melting the snow away. I like to sit and watch it receding, creeping away, revealing the vomit yellow grass beneath it. For the sub in choir, and his funny way of pronouncing names, and his squeeky voice, and his strange stories. For getting into all the classes I wanted. For the good grade on my science test. For the sunny, spicy smell radiating off Matt during lunch time. For standing in a circle and trading jokes. For the freckles exposing themselves across my cheeks. For the beautiful, warm, but very dead squirrel my mom let me pick up off the side of the road, name Sampson, and bury in the backyard. Perhaps the rest of the day will be this wonderful. I believe, if that happens, that the fact that my heart stopped beating during English today might just be okay. I really hope it doesn't happen again.

Something I think is worth addressing.
I (rarely) get hit on, either on myspace or at school.
Not that this really bothers me, I'm flattered or whatever.
But I want to explain why I don't really respond.
Two reasons.

I don't do long distance/myspace relationships.
I had a really bad experience, involving a boy moving up to Idaho to be with me.
The only boy I ever considered dating on myspace is a kid named Denis, and he's a beast.

The second, more important reason is that I am currently in love with someone.
His name is not important, just let is be said that he is incredible.
And I don't see myself getting over him any time in the near future.
He is absolutely beautiful.
However, if I know someone well, I would consider dating them.

And yes.
I date.
I just don't say "Oh my goodness, yes!" and hold hands.
Gotta put more effort into it than that.
Hope this didn't make me sound horrible,
Just wanted to get it out there.

Hello world, it's Spencer. I can see more than thirty square feet of yard, total, and I am unexplainably happy for this. Winter was too long. It's time to see some sunshine, some flowers. I just finished off a Venti peach iced tea, and I have a cold headache. I have to take off soon. I wish I had more time to post on here. I used to update all the time.

Either it's thundering, or someone is breaking into my garage.
I hope it's the first.
A good old thunder and lightning storm with warm rain would be ideal right now.
Especially if it continued on into the morning.
I rather want a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich.
Maybe I'll make a video.

Updates Anyone?

New band. Seatlle. Goodbye, Goodnight, Goodmorning Seattle.

Jungle Book is over. Wizard of Oz starts in less than two weeks. I'm shooting for Dorothy.

Getting my readers soon! Red. Thank you Urban Outfitters!

Single, ready to minglee. Not really. I miss you Jon. :(

I have a wrinkle.
I seriously have a wrinkle.
I guess that it's just strangely bizzarre to me.
Maybe I'm just noticing it more because my bangs are pinned back today.
Not only do I look really ridiculous without my bangs across my forehead,
You can totally see the huge creases just going mad above my eyebrows.

http://s717.photobucket.com/albums/ww177/All_You_Need_Is_Love_Its_All_You_Need/?action=view¤t=IMG000432-1.jpg&t=1236896482929


I know it's stupid.

Wondeful day.
Absolutely, posotively, utterly wonderful.
Which comes as a pleasant suprise, as my life has been going badly lately.
Something I think is interesting,
I always look up my words on google to see if any "do you mean" things come up.
It's a super nerdy way of checking your spelling.
Jonathan was wearing a Beatles, Abbey Road shirt today.
And it looks nice on him.
But pretty much everything does.
It was super great to have a decent, no screaming involved conversation with him.
Lately, I am remembering why I fell in love with him in the first place.
And that's a good thing, right?
This afternoon was so lovely, even online school and homework didn't seem so bad.
And then I went over to Kateri's.
I haven't seen that woman in so long, it's almost painful.
So we hung out in her bedroom.
Simple, nice morning and afternoon.
It's about seven now, and still light outside, a little bit.
Mostly gray and blue, though.
I'm going to get up early enough to get to school at a decent time tomorrow.
No sugar at all for two days guys!
It's not fun at all!
I'm thinking about just buying a pack of fruit snacks from the vending machine tomorrow,
But I bet I wouldn't feel good about it after.
I have a headache.
This shirt smells like cigarettes.
I really wish I had a cigarette right now.

I don't think I've known horrible before.
Last night, I received a phone call informing me that my grandpa probably wasn't going to survive the night.
Unfortunately, I was at closing night of the Jungle Book, and so the answering machine picked it up.
My mom checked the messages this morning while I was at school.
She told me when she came to pick me up.
I hope it was just another false alarm, but it's never been that serious before.
I don't think my grandpa is still inhabiting this earth.
And it's heartbreaking.

Well. I'm not doing so well. I would love to explain why, but I just really don't know how, and it truly would sound cliche coming out of someone's mouth, especially if that someone is me. But it really is as simple as I fell in love this year. And he broke my heart. Now, I don't want anyone's sympathy. This is just an explanation of why I haven't been myself lately. So, I guess this is it for now. Bye guys.

Dear Jonathan, whly do you have to be so wonderful?
:)

Kateri Warnick, if you are reading this, I miss you. You are my best friend and I don't want that to change. I want to know what is going on in your life, and I want you to know what is going on in mine. I want to spit of bridges and paint in ketchup, and languish in the simple knowledge that we understand one another. I love you so much. I am absolutely enamored with you, so don't you go forgetting it.

Goodness gracious, today was good. And bad, but mostly good. I accidently missed my biology class. Our schedual was all mixed up, and I thought the "nutrition break" was actually first lunch. Opps. But I got to spend it with fantastic young lad who I am nearly certain that I will never get enough of. But, I digress. It was sunny today, and nearly warm, but mostly sunny. The sky was bright blue with little navy clouds hovering over the mountains, and it was yellow, and the grass was green, and the track was blue, and the cigarette smoke was thick, and everything was just absolutely lovely. I hope that this feeling I have inside of me will never go away. Please let me continue to be content in myself.

Have a nice rest of the day, all you young people. I believe in you.